Kirsten's Corner: The One Where My Face Leaked - Indianapolis Fitness And Sports Training
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Kirsten’s Corner: The One Where My Face Leaked

written by Mike Robertson

Once upon a time there was a recovering chunky-butt named Kirsten who decided she wanted to work in a gym-o-awesomeness and surround herself with healthy, fit-minded peeps. As part of her indoctrination into the land of IFAST-dom, she was awarded an assessment that verified her strengths and weaknesses as a dormant athlete. She quickly proved herself to have the dexterity of a Weeble-Wobble. They sent their noble and optimistic warrior, Sir Jae, to feverishly train Kirsten in the art of Anti-Humpty-Dump-tery. This is her story…


One of the exercises in my first program has me on my back, holding up a 15-pound kettlebell that I’m not supposed to drop on my face, and raising my legs in the “3-Month Baby” position. Evidently I am a total rockstar at channeling my inner-infant because on Wednesday, there I was, right in the middle of the exercise, when I unequivocally started crying like a baby. It was like something off of some cheesy episode of Biggest Loser, minus the bullying trainer techniques.

For the record, I love me some Biggest Loser. Especially with ice cream.

Shaw Family
Kirsten and Her Two Favorite Blessings

After confirming that I wasn’t in any physical pain, Jae was kind enough to listen as I tried to verbalize my thoughts and feelings. What was wrong? That would be a big ol’ goose egg of absofreaking nothing. Have you ever sat through a sermon that just smacked you between the eyes? It was like that. But sweatier. As I reflected upon the many life changes I’ve made over the last year, I found myself simply overwhelmed with humbling gratitude for my many blessings. As a person of faith, I’m in awe of what God brought into my life when I finally got out of my own way. I can honestly say that my life has never been more in balance and filled with joy.  And I’m incredibly grateful that IFAST is an important part of it.

Living happily ever after,


  • Measure and track every bite. GRADE: D
  • Improve consistency with body positioning during sets. GRADE: B


  • Measure and track every bite. No, seriously. I mean it this time. Just ask me.
  • Remember the order and quantities for every element of my warm up without needing to look at my  program.


  • My glutes put the OW in PROWLER.
  • After asking a co-worker how much my kettlebell weighed, he told me 7 kilos. I asked him to convert it for my non-metric-measuring braincells. I was then informed that “cool people use kilos.” So noted.

Kirsten’s Corner is a weekly blog post written by Kirsten Shaw to document her health-fit journey. It is intended to offer humor and inspiration and should not be misconstrued as medical advice or the opinions of IFAST.

Mike Robertson

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