Once upon a time there was a recovering chunky-butt named Kirsten who decided she wanted to work in a gym-o-awesomeness and surround herself with healthy, fit-minded peeps. As part of her indoctrination into the land of IFAST-dom, she was awarded an assessment that verified her strengths and weaknesses as a dormant athlete. She quickly proved herself to have the dexterity of a Weeble-Wobble. They sent their noble and optimistic warrior, Sir Jae, to feverishly train Kirsten in the art of Anti-Humpty-Dump-tery. This is her story…
After training this week, I have a whole new appreciation for Rudolph and his flying Christmas caribous. Jae had me try the sled for the first time. If you’ve never tried it, let me start out by saying that those stacked plates-o-pounds are deceptively heavy. If you check out my video, it may look like a gray-colored pile of pizza? It ain’t. Also? The torture of dragging 185lbs up and down an alley wasn’t even the best part of the party. For me, the verbal confetti didn’t really starting pouring out of my mouth until later in the day as I began to feel like I was being tortured by some invisible corset. Every inch of my core begged for ibuprofen: front, sides and back! And not to be outdone, everything from the waist down wasn’t particularly pleased with me either.
I told them it was all Jae’s fault.
They didn’t seem to care.
I can only imagine what I would’ve felt like if I had been hauling Mr. Claus’s velvet-covered rump.
On Dasher, On Dancer…
Living happily ever after,
LAST WEEK’S GOALS:
- Weigh once a week instead of daily GRADE: B
- Log everything for next week’s nutritional consultation with Jessica Roberston GRADE: B+
THIS WEEK’S GOALS:
- Hubby is joining me this week on our quest to beast-hood. Support him by bringing my A game to the potluck.
- Exercise every day and pack something for the household move every night.
- If, hypothetically, one were wearing black shorts and wanted to, hypothetically, de-wedge one’s underwear from one’s crotch before performing a trap bar deadlift, it would, hypothetically, behoove one to do so BEFORE adding chalk to one’s hands. Hypothetically.
- Before I began exercising at IFAST, I would wear my gym clothes multiple times between washings. Somehow it never occurred to me that being capable of doing so was *not* a good thing. Similarly, I had *no* idea I was capable of such stink-itude.
Kirsten’s Corner is a weekly blog post written by Kirsten Shaw to document her health-fit journey. It is intended to offer humor and inspiration and should not be misconstrued as medical advice or the opinions of IFAST.