Three years ago, I joined the IFAST family. I had grandiose plans to become a middle-aged hard body who would in turn, go on to inspire all of womankind (and maybe even some of those testosterone-based creatures) into embracing their inner superheroes. I trained regularly. Dialed in my eating. And even though I hit my occasional plateaus, I managed to earn my “I’ve lost 116 Pounds” sticker.
Then I had major abdominal surgery, couldn’t lift more than 3 pounds for 3 months, and realized for the first time how much of my emotional eating I had transferred to the gym. With my newly-developed toolkit on the fritz, I went old-school: every processed food in the universe rightfully feared for its life.
Today my “I’ve lost 116 Pounds” decal has the sticking power of a cat-lady’s used lint roller.
I’d like to think I’m a fairly intelligent person; I have pieces of paper that say so and everything. As such, I fully comprehend the whole “put on your oxygen mask first so we maximize the gifts we gift to others” thing. But it’s amazing how easily we forget we even own a damn mask when those we love are lost and hurting. Not to mention how contagious that pain can be. I’m embarrassed and ashamed to admit that I have regained half of the weight I lost.
In not-so-scientific terms, it totally sucks.
There have been days when I thought about giving up. On training. On IFAST. On everything. Anxiety and depression can be such convincing jerkface liars. But for today, I’m here. And I firmly hold onto the belief that as I rebuild my spirit, my body will follow.
Hands down my favorite thing to do in this world is celebrate those around me. At IFAST, that’s a joy that comes easily. Anyone who walks in here can tell this place is a magnet for awesome people. All ages. All sizes. All abilities. And every person is at a different place on their journey.
Thankfully, most of the IFAST fam seem to understand that right now, I’m battling things on my journey that are much bigger than the scale. I’m beyond grateful for the healing grace and acceptance bestowed upon me. It has reinforced my determination and has showered me with hope.
Thank you all for an amazing three years; how ironic that a place known for building muscles has become my soft place to fall.
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